Keepers of The Home
Posted: October 17, 2020
Author: Danielle Murphy
Galatians 5:16-17, KJV
"This I say then, walk in the Spirit and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.”
We welcomed our ninth baby into our family last month. At first things sailed along beautifully and I marveled at the wonderful team my husband and I were making. That all changed however when I suddenly came down with a very bad breast infection. Our nights became much longer and harder as all of our focus was forced to be on my health and the babies. Needless to say, we have been in survival mode ever since.
Life has been very demanding lately, and though we have poured out grace upon grace towards each other, we had begun to grow a little thin. It can be so hard at times keeping up with the demands of everyday life, and even harder when you're running on very little sleep. We added to this chaos a trip to a cabin with our extended family. We arrived already worn out and depleted from our week, so by the time the end of the weekend rolled around, we were spent.
Just before leaving, while feeding the baby, the Holy Spirit showed me how hard I had fought to keep a right heart towards my husband. Now that we were leaving, He was showing me that I was beginning to hold onto to some of those bitter feelings I had been so faithful to let go of all weekend. The Lord showed me this to help me remain strong in the fight, and to not go home fighting for days and making our lives even more miserable.
It can be an easy thing to turn against our spouse when things get tough, but oh how foolish it is! Of all of the relationships that we should cherish and protect, our marriage should be number one. We must try and remain linked together at all times, striving always for the same goal and good of the other person. In doing so, we ultimately love ourselves, since we are one with our spouse. When we break our union by fighting we really harm ourselves also. To break our fellowship with one another means to destroy our strength for the days ahead. With this enlightenment from the Lord, I was determined in my heart to continue to fight for our relationship and not go home and stir up a fight.
As we were pulling out of the driveway to head home, he made one snarky remark that turned me ice cold. How quick I was to refuse to make eye contact and when he reached over to place his hand on mine, I could feel my blood begin to boil. Who was this jerk trying to cuddle up to me? Didn’t he realize how hurtful his words were?
How quickly my resolve to remain strong and gracious dwindled.
I turned my head towards the car window and shut my eyes in hopes of catching up on some much needed sleep. The Holy Spirit continued to minister to me. How was I supposed to let this man touch me when I felt so hurt? I was sick of trying and half asked God the same question. Immediately the answer came to mind—love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44). Do the opposite of what your flesh desires and you will walk in the spirit the Lord said.
One of the first things I tend to do when I feel hurt by my husband is to withdraw myself by refusing eye contact and touch. After a minute of thinking about what the Lord had said, I reached my hand over and began to rub his back as he drove. Immediately my anger receded and warm fuzzies began to flood my heart. This is the man that I love, the one who strives with me in this crazy life. The one who is ever faithful and by my side.
And just like that my anger faded away and love took its place. Oh that I could be this quick to obey the Lord at other times! I am learning, and with His help, so can you!