Posted: September 25, 2021
His Testimony Shared By: Bren Ward
Matthew 11:28-30, NIV
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
A Voice Speaking to Me While Dreaming – Part 3
Personally, I wanted to deal with my weight issue first. I hated my image so much. I would not even look at my reflection in a store window. However, I learned that it would have to wait until later. I was told that this was not the root of the problem. It was just a branch on a tree which needed to have it's roots destroyed. I was assured that, if I insisted on my own way, I would be just lopping off branches which would cause this ungodly tree to grow back stronger than before. So I stepped back and continued to let Him lead.
It was then that I began to take other people's complaints about me to heart through new eyes. I realized that I had become a complete homebody and my most stimulating conversations and most valuable friends were Soap Opera characters on TV. I ate lunch with them, drank coffee with them, and adopted their TV values as my own. I was shocked to discover that I had become dependent upon them as an extended family, and their world had become a major part of influencing me in ways that God had not intended for our life.
About that same time, I began to see patterns in my life I had not seen before. I saw how I allowed my two small children to play with their friends in or out of their rooms, before taking their nap, while I visited with my TV family. I seldom kept their rooms clean because of the pattern I had us in. Being the eldest child in my family, one of my chores had been to babysit my three brothers and sister. Their friends were encouraged to play in our yard or basement, while my other sister helped my mom clean. Although I had numerous other chores, cleaning had not become my specialty, but I was good at keeping a watchful ear and eye out toward others when they played. My husband, being an only child, had no tolerance for messes created by others, and this brought much conflict in our marriage. Most days, I had a deaf ear to his complaints. I could not understand why I would forget what he had asked me to do nor why he would become so angry at this. We were in a vicious cycle. I would feel as rejected by him as he felt devalued by me. I believed I was doing a good job and carrying my weight, no pun intended.
As each new day unfolded after that dream, God's Spirit revealed to me patterns in my life which had formed over the years and asked me to give them to Him. When I recognized I had no idea how to keep my house clean, I was overwhelmed. I asked His Spirit to teach me how to clean. I asked that He might help me become organized too so my job would be easier and more efficient. As I sat before Him, eyes closed listening, I noticed a picture forming by the Spirit in my mind’s eye. I saw myself doing specific things to clean and organize my time and my children's rooms, and so I applied them.
When I felt condemned for not getting enough done, He revealed to me I had an A or F mentality and suggested I stop grading myself and simply do what I find I am to do with a Spirit of excellence. By the time I realized I had developed an obsession about cleaning, I was in a pattern of writing myself an unrealistic list, adding to it as I saw everything through perfectionistic thinking, then convincing myself that I had not done enough because the completion of the list had not met my expectations. It was then that His Spirit spoke to me about giving Him my expectations and receiving His in return, reminding me He desired to help, if I would only ask. When my tendency to be obsessive and anxious would try to transfer over into my cleaning routine, His Spirit would stop me and say, “That is enough for now.” I had to learn to obey so self-discipline could be developed and I could learn to be content with what is.
(Testimony from www.EnterIntoGodRest.com)
Come back next week to read part 4 of my testimony.
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