Freedom from Fear Part Two
Before this episode, I had wanted God to be first in my life, and I actually thought He was. I knew that Jesus had said to the church of Laodicea in Revelation 3:15-16 (NIV)… “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth!” I had never considered myself a “lukewarm” Christian because I was doing a lot of things for Him. But now, looking back and examining how I was spending my time, I can definitely say that I was “lukewarm” when it came to the amount of time I spent in His presence and reading His Word. I realized that our relationship was not my first priority. I have come to learn that God’s greatest desire is not what we do for Him, but simply the time we spend with Him. As a result of this realization, my priorities changed. I started spending quantity and quality time with God every morning, and I made the decision to totally and completely surrender my life to Jesus. I decided to go all in for him, and now I have found so much freedom and purpose! I feel so different now despite having been a Christian my whole life. I now understand how the apostle Paul could say, “Count it all as joy,” in James 1:2 when referring to trials that test our faith. If I had a choice, I would choose to go through my medical trial again because of what it taught me and how my faith has grown. The best way I can describe the transformation I have undergone is that it is like that of a caterpillar who emerges from the cocoon in complete shock because it never even realized there was a butterfly stage in its future!
I had always thought, “If God so desires a personal relationship with us, why does it feel like one-way communication when I pray?” Then, when God showed up and spoke to me in such a dramatic way during my episode, I realized that reciprocal communication with God was truly possible, even for an average person like me! This realization led me to pray and seek two-way communication with God on a daily basis. I told God that, if His Word is 100% true as He had told me, then as His beloved daughter I claimed His promise in Matthew 7:7-8 for myself:
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (NIV)
My deepest desire was to draw close to Him and be able to communicate with Him as I do with my closest family and friends, perceiving what He is saying back to me moment by moment. I began to ask Him for this reciprocal communication, and He has been faithful to answer my prayer!
Unfortunately, the enemy hasn’t given up trying to use fear to derail my life’s purpose and my calling. Over the past four years, he has attempted to cause panic through nightmares as well as worry, stress, and anxiety concerning finances, my health, COVID 19, and relationships. I even physically felt one of his demons try to scare me by squeezing me from behind while I was lying in bed. Whenever he has attacked me, I have fought back by calling on the name of Jesus, the name above al names, and He has faithfully delivered me from the enemy’s grip of fear! God is love ad His perfect love cast out fear. (1 John 4:18) Unhealthy negative feelings caused by fear are not from God but from the devil and his demons. When we come into agreement with fear, we give the enemy legal rights to torment us and wreak all kinds of havoc rooted in fear such as worry, anxiety, stress, and panic.
Please come back next week to read part three of my testimony.
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