A Page from my Journal
As I think of the Birth of Jesus today while watching a Video of the Song “Mary Did You Know”, this Memory came to mind; I offer it as my gift to you all with love:
I was a baby Christian, soon to be a new Mom again. It was Mother’s Day 1979 ... in the evening of what had been a fun packed day. I was in bed for the night, just beginning to pray.
“Oh my God!” I said, shocked and grieved by an awareness of my actions. “I am so sorry Father... I haven't talked with You yet today! That is not normal for me! Please forgive me, I really didn't mean to ignore You. I always begin and end my day with You and Jesus, and speak to You throughout it, how could this have happened? How could I have not consciously included You in my day?” I could come up with no explanation.
Even so, I continued with immense love, joy and thankfulness in my heart, "It's been an exceptional day... thank You for this experience. I am so grateful for the gift of being a Mom and a Mom to be. I feel so loved and appreciated by our Children. Thank You for our Children, I love them so much, they are so very important to me. Thank You and thank You too Jesus for who You are in my life as well. Father please....."
Suddenly I was at Calvary.
Whether I was in my body or out of my body, I did not know, it didn't seem to matter. I did know, this was happening to me, and it was unexpected.
Instantly I became aware I was one with Jesus, we were hanging on the cross, in time and eternity. Pure love poured out of Him. Love for His ... our heavenly Father... love for all of mankind, love for… so much love! A love that could not be earned nor destroyed. He was the epitome of Fathers love personified.
He was looking down. I was seeing through His eyes, feeling some of His intense emotions, receiving some of His understanding and revelation knowledge, even though words were never spoken. Although there were many gathered there, they no longer seemed to matter at that moment in time and eternity. His focus was on His Mother, Mary.
She was looking up, searching for the eyes of her son. I sensed her torment fade as their eyes met in this moment I was given the privilege of experiencing. I was sensing everything flowing through Him through our union.
I was sure Mary was comforting and being comforted by those in grief and confusion around her, their pain mixed with her own. Even so, I knew such was nothing compared to the affection and diverse emotions and understanding linking her with her son Jesus as she watched Him hanging there, marred beyond belief. Tears on her face were marked by dirt from the dusty road she had walked upon, as she had followed the road to Calvary with Jesus and others. Some of whom were still gathered there, with various emotions of their own.
Although Jesus' flesh was tortured by pain, this pain was nothing compared to what they were experiencing within as their humanity touched. Their pain seemed to ease somewhat as a spiritual depth of understanding passed between them, an exchange words, mere words cannot describe.
Love for our heavenly Father and their love one for the other and His love for each of us... even those of us not yet born made their aching hearts easier to bear. Jesus understood all was going to work out for the good and what was, must be. His inner strength flooded me as it seemed to pass on to her with a depth of understanding that brought a peace that surpasses it.
I, within Jesus experienced their affection, their pain ... their silent agreement as He communed with her. Their ... our hearts and minds united in time and eternity. Will I ever be able to truly describe the magnitude of emotion and revelation exchanged? Perhaps not. I can say, it began with a mutual trust in the goodness and wisdom of our heavenly Father and His eternal plan established before the foundations of the world for His creation, His Spiritual Family, us. It began through a united love in who Father is and was to them and is now towards us ... through the spiritual life Jesus, Father offers, imparts.
We shared this consciousness of Father's eternal plan for His creation. An Eternal spiritual connection and bond, neither suffering, sin nor can death break. A spiritual connection His death and restored life was destined to offer others.... has offered me... each of us, with the same resurrection power Christ received.
The endless love and gratitude in Jesus’ heart towards His mother, for her willingness to surrender to Father's absolute will, Father's destiny for them both, for us all.... overwhelmed me. I realized His gift to each of us, of His bearing the consequences of sin and death through love ... on a far, far deeper level within my spirit, than I could have ever imagined or can attempt to express, even now.
As quickly as I had been taken to that moment in time and eternity, I returned, instantly I found myself once again in my bed, my own face wet with tears. My eternal soul, eternal spirit overtaken and transformed in another step of my forever spiritual Journey, beyond faith into a knowing.
I heard the voice of our Father, “You have asked Me if Mary is to be worshiped as it is taught by some. Though she is not to be worshiped, she is indeed to be honored. All who choose to surrender to My revealed will ... will be honored by Me in return. Such are worthy of My name and will manifest My presence, My Heart within and among and towards the Spirit of those with My breath of eternal life within them.”
If you have a story about what God has done in your life and would like to share it please email us at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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