The Beginning of the Manifestations of the Healing of my Spirit, Soul, and Body – Part 2
I understood that Jesus, being the author and finisher of our faith, according to the unfolding of the Father's eternal plan, would renew the spirit of my mind through the impartation and power of HIS Holy Spirit. Having become a part of me, He made His words alive to me through my awakened spirit.
Jesus had been drawing me, convicting me of that which caused me to shy away or resist the Father's best for me, and I had responded humbly, having been given a change of heart and a desire for a new life with/through Him. I desired to completely surrender my rebellious will and dual nature for Him to do as He willed through the union of our minds/wills/purpose.
The Father's Spirit/Essence revealed much. I understood, as a child awakened to a spiritual reality previously unknown experientially, that when my human body as I knew it ceased to exist, I would have nothing to fear.... for my spirit has a body and is eternal through His eternal Spirit. I was given the awareness that the Spirit of the Lord has already prepared a wonderful place for me; my life with Him would continue in/through the Kingdom of Heaven, having begun on earth through HIS will unfolding on my behalf. The Father God, the source of all that is, loves each of us and offers us the purity of who He is to all. All will be redeemed through His Son at the foundation of the world. All will be made new according to His Eternal Plan, which was, is, and is to come.... unfolding for us exponentially from generation to generation as we become mature sons and daughters of the Most High. Mind you, this was all received by me in the form of strong impressions...an inner knowing.
I was given an awareness that, no matter what, nothing I do will ever destroy that love nor cause it to be decreased. It cannot be earned nor destroyed. It simply is and always has been. I knew every transgression I ever committed and ever would commit was forgiven already and always would be. Shame and condemnation left as I received His love/heart's desire as my own. My nature was transformed into a higher way of being and thinking... as a newborn. Immorality as I once knew it no longer gave me pleasure. I was experiencing the reality of God as my Dad, who deeply cared about my life ... our life, in every way, who would always be there for and with me. Jesus, my brother, had been sent to reveal Him and HIS will to me as I grew up spiritually to become who I was created to be in HIS mind, according to HIS plan for me personally. This has proven to be true as I have grown/matured in spirit and through living the reality of HIS truth with an awareness that HIS Kingdom begins within and is manifested in our midst through our union with HIS Spirit. Yes... there have been battles along the way.
Almost immediately after this, I had a realistic dream. In it, I was taking a shower. While doing so, I became aware of a fervent voice becoming louder and repeating, "You need to forgive your grandmother." I woke up thinking, "Forgive my grandmother! Why do I need to forgive my grandmother?" I was shocked when I recognized that the Father was speaking to me through the means of a dream (which He has continued to do). Instantly, I remembered angry words from another person in my past: "When you grow up, you are going to be fat and lazy just like your grandmother!"
I began to cry. I was now aware I had judged my grandmother harshly through these words, I was becoming like her, and I hated us both for it, although I had never voiced it before even to myself. I had been unconscious of this hate hiding deep within me.
Up until that moment, I had no idea how powerful words directed at our soul can be. Words create... they can be a blessing or a curse. I perceived a need to choose to forgive and seek self discipline, the manifestation of one of the fruits of His Holy indwelling Spirit which I could draw upon through our union. I consciously chose to let go of all bitterness and self hate. I grieved over my sense of loss for I never really got to know my grandmother due to judgments I unconsciously made. I became convicted that my beliefs and attitudes were damaging my intimate relationships as I was receiving a knowing of how they affected how I related to everyone and everything around me. They influenced how I thought, how I saw myself and others, and how I related to life in general.
Come back next week to read part 3 of my testimony.
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