I Am a Living Being
In my beginning, many voices were screaming at me and telling me who I was… that I was “JUST a fetus”. Does this sound like the truth to you? Am I not a living being? Now, fifty-three years later, I am standing and moving, and I am very confident in proving to you that I am a living being JUST like YOU! It sounds like I am speaking for my own rights, doesn’t it? You are right! I am speaking for my LIFE! My life is more valuable than I ever thought it could be. Dear sister, please allow me to share my story with you. You have the right to govern your body, but I have a body and a voice as well!
My mother was an orphan. When she found out that she was pregnant with me, my older brother was only eighteen months old, and my father was not involved at home in the way he should be. You could say that she was completely alone! Where would she find her strength and who would give her a shoulder to lean upon? She tried on several occasions to self-abort me, but God chose to keep me in her womb. She made this decision based on the fear and the hopelessness she felt. Were these good reasons to abort me? It is not for me to judge. What I choose to hold on to is a note she left for me before she passed away telling me, “I would never exchange anyone for you. Even if someone gave me a hundred daughters, you are the only daughter I want.” Jesus knows. He knows that I would go through water and fire for her, and I would NEVER GIVE UP on her.
I fully understand how harsh, how tough, and how difficult your situation may be. I walked along the path with my mother who tried VERY hard in all those harsh, tough, and difficult moments she faced. She did it so I might have the chance to rise. While she was facing each life and death decision, I was with her. The truth is that I faced the same life and death decisions that she did. Have I ever hated her because of the life she brought me into? Was I ever angry with her because of her struggles? Did I ever stop loving her because she became a serious alcoholic and abused me when she was so drunk that she could no longer recognize who I was? I may have felt some of those emotions at times… but I am more than grateful that she never gave up on me. I am proud of my mother, and in no way do I have the right to judge her or compare her to other mothers. She did the best she could, and, because she did not give up on me, there is now another life I love very much in this world and who brings love and joy to many others – my beloved son.
Again, I fully understand your fear and worry of being a future mother. We all have our own burdens, our own hardships, and our own health issues…. maybe let me tell you more…
I want to have the freedom to make my own choices for my life, and this is one of the choices I made. After being in my first marriage for several years, I was told that I did not have the ability to conceive. One day, I had a high temperature and, after seeing the doctor, I found out I was pregnant. However, the doctor also determined that I had a water tumor in my uterus, and his advice was that I terminate the pregnancy. But I could not accept that. This was a life that had been given to me, and I was to be his mother; therefore, I was willing to take the risk. Four months into the pregnancy, my doctor warned me, “If your baby cannot win in the fight against this tumor by your five month visit, then I will insist on taking the necessary action because your life will be in danger.” Every day I talked to my baby boy and encouraged him to fight for his life. At my five month visit, my doctor looked at the ultrasound and gave me a victorious smile as he said, “Your boy has won the battle. Now he has a big, safe swimming pool to enjoy.” I am very thankful I chose NOT to make the choice for my son.
A day before my due date, the doctor insisted that I have a C-section. He told me that, because of my health condition, I would not be able to go through the long natural birth process. In addition to my health issues, my baby was in the breech position, making a natural birth dangerous for both of us. Even though I could not afford the procedure and needed financial help to pay for it, I did not want to take any risk of harming him and agreed to the C-section. On January 8, 2005, my baby was born and I heard his first cry. The nurse who was holding him walked towards me while my lower body was still numb from the spinal block I had been given. I looked at his face and said, “Hey, mommy is here.” He instantly stopped his crying and started smiling. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of love. Suddenly, I began to have shortness of breath and my heartbeat and blood pressure both climbed to a dangerous level. An emergency call was made to another doctor, and my life was saved so that I could be here for my son.
When my son was in elementary school, he consistently received the “The Most Kind” award. He is now seventeen years old, and I often hear him being described by others as one of the most kind and loving people they know. He sings, he laughs, and he enjoys life with all his friends. He works hard in school, and he is making plans to fulfill his dreams. Do you see how that little baby, a baby who was once referred to as nothing more than a fetus, is a wonderful living being who is in the process of living out a beautiful life? He is a life that is set apart from my life; how could I want to save my life by making a choice to deny him his? I cannot see any way that that decision could be justified. Just like my mother said of me, I say of him: “I would not exchange anyone for my son, not even myself.”
Dear sister, I am not writing this to try to convince you to give up your right, but I do hope you recognize that this is not your right alone. Just as my son will say, “Hey mother, please remember to knock before you open the door of my room,” HE HAS RIGHTS! I am a Christian and I follow Jesus – the Way, the Truth, and the Life, yet when I made the choice to give my baby the right to live, I did not know the name of Jesus. This is not a religious argument I am making… This is a love story I am sharing. I hope you choose to experience your own love story. May the love of Jesus be with you.
If you have a story about what God has done in your life and would like to share it please email us at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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