I Felt Like A Burden Part Two
At my dad’s I was not allowed to help with anything and felt I was in the way and did not fit in as well. We were always allowed to visit there, but once dad told me if I come over it will be okay and if I do not it's okay too. This made me felt that he did not care if I was around. I felt uplaced by his new family.
I started feeling very confused about what love was. My parents all said they loved me, but I felt they would have been happier if I had not been born. I became very depressed and at thirteen started drinking and doing drugs whenever I was not watching my sisters or when they were asleep. It wasn’t until I had my own little boy at eighteen that I stopped.
I thought having my own children and my husband would help me feel less of a burden and more important. I was married at twenty and had three children at twenty-two. This did not fulfill the deep need inside me. I still had feelings of being unloved, a burden, and unimportant.
I became a Christian by asking Jesus to be my Savior when I was a young teen, but It wasn’t until I was twenty-one that I started attending church and became committed to living a Christian life.
This did not cause everything to turn around at once.
My husband and I divorced after being married for seven years. I moved back to Ohio and started raising the children on my own. I knew, though, that God was with me.
Joshua 1:9 (ESV) I read, “…Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you (me) wherever you (I) go.”
His testimony on my life to be continued…more about God.
He showed me I am not a burden and am very important – His princess!
Please come back next week to read I Felt Like A Burden Part Three
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