Father once told me there was a story that was ruling my life through my thought life; thus the inner child in me was trapped in a moment in time. He said, that is the case for most if not all of us.
Faith comes by hearing and we need to pay attention to what we embrace as truth, because just because someone speaks something does not make it true. Testing the spirit (attitude) through which the words are come forth is thus a vital way of being...
When I asked our Heavenly Father what it was, it came to mind and emotionally I experienced that moment all over again; I was moved with compassion as understanding came in, through seeing through His eyes of eternity.
You see, at a very tender age, during one emotionally vulnerable moment in time I was deeply hurt by words which came out in frustration and anger and name calling' verbal abuse. Being insecure to begin with, how the little child in me internalized their reaction was the belief that I was stupid and therefore unlovable. From that moment on I 'felt' unlovable and therefore unloved. Perhaps that is why the first audible words I heard Father speak were, "You cannot earn My love nor destroy it." Once I received that revelation through seeing it through His eyes, Father asked me let go of who I was then (she died with Christ to be raised with Him), so I can become who He created me to be in my present moments. I did not need to forgive them, as by then the adult in me understood they were just frustrated and ultimately their 'reaction' had nothing to do with me, even so I chose to do so just in case there was a part of me which unconsciously needed to. Next Father asked me to pay attention to the words which came out of my mouth, as they were related to that story and to give them to Him whenever I heard them come out of my mouth, as they were lies that bound my soul and they too were crucified with Christ, in the Spirit. We are not to let 'feelings' rule us with negative energy, they bring death not life.
I was surprised to discover words such as, 'I can't do that I'm too stupid' or 'I could never learn to do that' and the like stupid ruled me...
However, Father reminded me stupid (that entered in) died with Christ at Calvary (a part of the old nature which needed to be redeemed), as a part of our being raised with Him as a new creation, an eternal spiritual being, destined to be an overcomer through the power of His Holy Spirit within in our now, not simply when we depart from this body of flesh. The truth became alive in me during that process that I could say with the faith of Christ, "I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” (Philppians 4:13) and thus draw upon His Holy Spirit within to be through me who I am created to be as one of His own... as part of His spiritual body and bride, as a Christed one; one of many who are being in Christed. Thank You Father
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