I Felt Like A Burden Part Three
As I said before, asking Jesus to forgive me for my sins and accepting Him as Lord of my life did not cause everything to go well in my life from that point on.
My husband and I had a hard marriage. We both knew Jesus, but we both were also broken people and did not know how to love each other. I still wrestled with feeling I was unimportant, a burden, and not very lovable. I cannot speak for my ex-husband, but I do know it was hard for me to trust him and this hurt him badly. He would try to control our lives which lead him to be emotionally and physically abusive. After seven years of marriage we divorced. I moved back to Ohio with my three children. I was not sure how I was going to make it, but I knew God was with me.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9, NIV)
In Ohio I started attending a Nazarene church where my Mom was going. My mom had dedicated her life to Christ too and was on a healing journey. She was released from alcoholism and met a man of God who would become my step dad. She was becoming a good mom to my sister and I. She was able to love us in a way she was unable to do as we were growing up. What a blessing from God!
I too was growing in my faith and knowledge of God. My children and I attended church every time the doors were open. I became involved in children’s ministry. I was hungry for God, but I still was plagued with thoughts and feeling unimportant, a burden to others, and unloved. I even struggled with the thoughts that God only accepted me to keep His word, “…’Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’” (Romans 10:13, NIV) I thought maybe He did not want me, but my children were wanted by God so I hoped He wanted me too.
Please come back next week to read I Felt Like A Burden Part Four
If you have a story about what God has done in your life and would like to share it please email us at: email@example.com
*The Fruitful Women creative team retains the right to edit and publish or not publish any testimonies that are submitted.