Growing In Faith
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Posted: February 25, 2023
Author: Kerry Lytle Galatians 1:10, New Living Translation "Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant" |
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Where did this expression “people pleaser” come from anyway? I don’t know for sure, but maybe Paul had something to do with it. Paul writes, “Obviously, I am not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant" (Galatian 1:10, NLT). Take note of the contrast. Either he is serving Christ, or he is a people pleaser. Our life cannot be focused on trying to please people if we want to be servants of Christ.
But this is where it gets tricky. Serving others in love is something every Christian is called to do (Galatian 5:13). People pleasers serve others. So what’s the difference between being a people pleaser and serving out of love? The main difference is motive. Why do you do what you do? Where is your heart in service? Do you crave the approval of others? Are you driven by a desire for people to like you? Or, are you motivated by the desire to serve God when you serve others?
Why did you stay up late to finish that particular project even though you were already short on sleep? Was it because you genuinely thought that the Lord would be pleased that you sacrificed sleep to serve another? If so, your loss of sleep was worth it. Or was your primary motive that you didn’t want someone to be disappointed in you? How you answer will help you determine whether you tend toward being a God pleaser or a people pleaser.
How many times a day do you say or do things to get people to like you? If you answered zero, think again. Most of us do it all the time without even realizing it. Whether it is when we are picking out what clothes to wear in the morning or saying yes to something we don’t really have time for, our motivation is often to be seen highly by the people around us. The desire to be liked, or being a people pleaser, often guides the smallest to the largest of decisions.
But this isn’t God’s way. God doesn’t want us to please people; He wants us to serve people. There’s a difference. God wants our incentive in the choices we make and the way we live to be more about getting praise from Him, not praise from others.
In life we need to try to become a God pleaser and not a people pleaser. God wants us to look to Him for approval and not others. He wants us to put all our energy into pleasing Him and putting Him first.
People pleasing can harm relationships and your emotions. When we try to please people, we can stray from our morals and values and do something we normally wouldn’t. People pleasing also wears you out. It’s a lot of work to try to make everybody happy every day– it isn’t humanly possible!
If you find yourself seeking people's approval above God's you can strive to seek God’s approval instead of people’s applause.
Live as if the opinion that matters most is God’s.
If you discover that you gravitate toward people-pleasing, confess it openly to the Lord. Start reminding yourself that if you are in Christ, then your most important audience is Christ. And don’t stop reminding yourself. Bring this truth to mind over and over again. You are not hostage to others’ opinions. You belong to someone else. Your service should be motivated by your central focus on Christ. You don’t have to be a people pleaser anymore because you are in Christ!
