Eli Murphy, Servant of ChristEli, along with his wife Danielle, have been blessed with a wonderful, growing family of eight. Eli was called by the Lord to serve as one of the content developers for the What A Man Says column to show the men's perspective about the truth of the Lord.
Meaningful VerseMatthew 4:16, KJV
"The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up." |
|
Eli's Life - His Testimony
When asked to share my testimony I never know where to begin. Who does not like to talk about themselves? To talk about all the things that they have overcome and experienced. The more I live, the more I realize how little I have in this world—little of any value, anyway. The material stuff seems to pile up. My victories over drug addiction and theft, over pornography and little white lies, leave me in good standing with God. Doesn't it? The funny thing is though, the times where I struggled are the times I felt closest with God. My sin was blatantly before me, and I had to face it. I had to make the decision to either indulge, or repent and throw myself at the mercies of a loving Father. And I have chosen mercy. I have overcome these things that so easily beset, and once I was no longer beset, I then set my mind on the One that had brought me so far.
When I first came to the Lord my whole life was a mess. I had found God in a squat house in New York City. He was hiding in the shadows on the third floor behind a pile of trash. I am not sure exactly what He was doing there, but I know what I was doing—looking for life. Instead of finding it, I found death. Staring into the darkness of that place, I wanted out. Crying in that moment of my brokenness, for this amazing grace that they all sang about. And there in the darkness, God revealed Himself to me.
It happened in quite a peculiarly way really. As I try to tell of it now, I am not sure how to put it into words. As I was laying there desiring death, I felt a large hand that covered my entire back. I could distinguishably feel all five fingers. It spread a warm, radiating heat. The best way I have found to describe it is to say it was like as a mother’s hand on the back of her child. That hand that rubbed your neck or scratched your back as a small child. Many may not know the joys of sitting on your parents lap and drifting off to sleep, feeling safe and loved. Either way, I felt this distant emotion that I had not known for many year. It was joy! Even though I was still laying in a pile of garbage amidst my poor decisions, I laughed. Another part of this experience was a vision. I saw a tunnel and at the end of it there was a light. I hadn’t fainted or lost conscience, but I did feel an awakening. It was like I had been given a map with clear directions telling me where to go. It was simple—straight. So I got up and followed it.
After this, I spent a few more years shedding the habits of destruction that had become part of my life. I worked at making myself sensitive to His leading. I knew about this religion, though, and wasn’t going to be trapped by what men said. I didn’t actually have to look out for what others would do, it was myself I needed to watch. I had seen all that I overcame, and it made me feel swell. There was a time where I was getting stoned Sunday morning and then heading out to church. The next thing I knew, I was being made a deacon. In my heart, I just knew that I had earned it. Just look at my good family, I thought. Look at my home, at my business, and now finally my status in the church. And in that place, I no longer needed God. In my eyes, it was as if I was the one who did all of it. But, let it be known that God does not share His throne. So, He stepped down and left me to rule this new kingdom, alone. A kingdom, that no matter how nice it looked, it was without the truth. I was trapped as a king of a sad, empty kingdom.
But, by the grace of our God, He has been gracious enough to allow me to see the error of my ways. He has blessed me by coming to remove me from the seat I thought I earned. He took me off the throne of my life and took His rightful place. Yet, He has asked me to come and sit on his lap. And so now I sit, a bastard in the arms of a King. A beggar, clothed and fed. And like unto a child that has caught his father’s eye when he is doing wrong, I have been humbled. But, in my humble state, I have taken my crown off to receive His presence.
I pray that He would be the King of your heart as He is now the King of mine.
info@thefruitfulwomen.org
When I first came to the Lord my whole life was a mess. I had found God in a squat house in New York City. He was hiding in the shadows on the third floor behind a pile of trash. I am not sure exactly what He was doing there, but I know what I was doing—looking for life. Instead of finding it, I found death. Staring into the darkness of that place, I wanted out. Crying in that moment of my brokenness, for this amazing grace that they all sang about. And there in the darkness, God revealed Himself to me.
It happened in quite a peculiarly way really. As I try to tell of it now, I am not sure how to put it into words. As I was laying there desiring death, I felt a large hand that covered my entire back. I could distinguishably feel all five fingers. It spread a warm, radiating heat. The best way I have found to describe it is to say it was like as a mother’s hand on the back of her child. That hand that rubbed your neck or scratched your back as a small child. Many may not know the joys of sitting on your parents lap and drifting off to sleep, feeling safe and loved. Either way, I felt this distant emotion that I had not known for many year. It was joy! Even though I was still laying in a pile of garbage amidst my poor decisions, I laughed. Another part of this experience was a vision. I saw a tunnel and at the end of it there was a light. I hadn’t fainted or lost conscience, but I did feel an awakening. It was like I had been given a map with clear directions telling me where to go. It was simple—straight. So I got up and followed it.
After this, I spent a few more years shedding the habits of destruction that had become part of my life. I worked at making myself sensitive to His leading. I knew about this religion, though, and wasn’t going to be trapped by what men said. I didn’t actually have to look out for what others would do, it was myself I needed to watch. I had seen all that I overcame, and it made me feel swell. There was a time where I was getting stoned Sunday morning and then heading out to church. The next thing I knew, I was being made a deacon. In my heart, I just knew that I had earned it. Just look at my good family, I thought. Look at my home, at my business, and now finally my status in the church. And in that place, I no longer needed God. In my eyes, it was as if I was the one who did all of it. But, let it be known that God does not share His throne. So, He stepped down and left me to rule this new kingdom, alone. A kingdom, that no matter how nice it looked, it was without the truth. I was trapped as a king of a sad, empty kingdom.
But, by the grace of our God, He has been gracious enough to allow me to see the error of my ways. He has blessed me by coming to remove me from the seat I thought I earned. He took me off the throne of my life and took His rightful place. Yet, He has asked me to come and sit on his lap. And so now I sit, a bastard in the arms of a King. A beggar, clothed and fed. And like unto a child that has caught his father’s eye when he is doing wrong, I have been humbled. But, in my humble state, I have taken my crown off to receive His presence.
I pray that He would be the King of your heart as He is now the King of mine.
info@thefruitfulwomen.org